I feel like...

I feel like giving up I hate how everything feels one sided why does it have to be this way?

I kinda just want to shut down.
What's wrong with me?
Why am I so ugly?
Why doesn't anyone truly care about me?
Is it wrong to want to be loved so badly?
To find someone who wants to truly try to stick around?

Why does something good have to hurt so badly?

I confuse myself.
I tend to make very confusing choices but I know there is a pattern to it all and an explanation.
I understand but I don't at the same time.

I don't know what God wants me to do in life I want to be a nurse... but I don't at the same time and other things have been on my mind a lot lately and I just keep rolling thoughts through my head.

God who do you want me to be with someday?

Hmmm I learned that I really like girls with short hair xD haha especially people with dark brown hair... lol xD that was randomness I know but I just noticed that...

I am me. I am everything that I am every single part of me that I fear that I hide in the corners of me acting like they don't exist.

I am the one flaying you alive
I am the one tearing at your mind
I am the one creeping under your skin
I am the one wearing the grin

There are so many things you don't know about me... If you want to find out just ask... I will be brutally honest.

Lately

Lately I have been juggling around different areas in my life.
I really want to do so many different things but I don't know what to choose... and how to go about choosing some of them...
I really really want to learn japanese but I don't know where to start.... I also really want to learn Kendo....
Hmmm I am thinking...
a lot.... grr...
私はイライラして...
なぜ人生はとてもすべてに複雑になることがありますか？
Sumimasen...